The Little Book Of Stupid Questions book. Read 7 reviews from the world's largest community for readers. Leave the meaningful questions to the philosophe . The Little Book of Stupid Questions (): David Borgenicht: Books. the little book of stupid questions? Hilarious, Bold, Embarrassing, Personal and Basically Pointless QueriesDav.

The Little Book Of Stupid Questions

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Leave the meaningful questions to the philosophers. Real life deals with the little things. The inane things. The petty things. And yes, well, the stupid things. Man, they weren't kidding when they titled this "The Little Book of Stupid Questions". Stupid indeed! There are some interesting, conversation-starting questions. The Paperback of the The Little Book of Stupid Questions: Hilarious, Bold, Embarrassing, Personal and Basically Pointless Queries by.

What do you say if you're talking to God, and he sneezes? What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane? What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? What happened to the first 6 UP's? What happens if you get scared half to death, What happens if you take No-Doze and wash it down with Nyquil? What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours? What happens when none of your bees wax? What happens when you swallow your pride?

What if hell really did freeze over? What would we be using instead? What if someone died in the living room? What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about? What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go? What is "Soft Liquor"? What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? What is a refried bean? Why do they have to fry it twice? What is shaved ice? Did it have hair on it before it was shaved? What is the diameter of a square?

What is the speed of dark? What kind of fruit is in Juicy Fruit gum? What makes cheese so confidential that we actually need cheese shredders?

What was the best thing before sliced bread? Whatever happened to preparations A through G? What's the sound a name makes when it's dropped? What's the synonym for thesaurus? When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses? When day breaks who fixes it? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go? When night falls who picks it up? When people lose weight, where does it go? When something fades in the sunlight, where did the colors go? When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?

When we say our mind wanders - where does it go? When you put a sheet over your head for Halloween, are you a ghost or a mattress? Where are the germs that cause 'good' breath? Where are we going? And what's with this hand basket? Where did Webster look up the definitions when he wrote the dictionary?

Where do they get Spring water in the other 3 seasons? Where does the fire go when the fire goes out? Where does the white go when the snow melts? Where does your lap go when you stand up? Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg? Where is Old Zealand?

Which is the other side of the street? Who killed the Dead Sea?

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Who opened that first 'oyster' and said "My, my, my. Now doesn't 'this' look yummy! Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it? Why are all blackboards called that when some of them are green? Why are America's parks administered by the Department of the Interior?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"? Why are highways build so close to the ground? Why are raisins called raisins if they are only dried grapes?

Why not just call them dried grapes? Why are some gay people so unhappy? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting? Why are violets blue and not violet? Why are you expected to slow down in a speed zone? Why aren't there ever any guilty bystanders?

Why download shampoo when real poo is still free? Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram"? Why can't we tickle ourselves? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why did the pot call the kettle black? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do ballet dancers dance on their toes? Why doesn't the company just hire taller dancers? Why do flamingos stand on only one leg? Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

Why do hot dogs come ten to a package and hot dog buns only eight? Why do mattresses have springs, if they aren't made for jumping on? Why do people always remember where they were when someone famous was killed?

Do they feel perhaps they'll need an alibi? Why do people go to the unemployment office to find a job? Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways? Why do pigs have curly tails? Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?

Why do they call it 'chili' if it's hot? Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? Why do they call it 'getting your dog fixed' if afterwards it doesn't work anymore? Why do they call it life insurance? Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly? Why do they call Wednesday hump day, when most people get laid on the weekends?

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Why do they give you a tape with a VCR to tell you how to use it? Why do they make cars go so fast its illegal? Why do they make scented toilet paper?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? Why do they report power outages on TV? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?

Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo? Why do we call them restrooms when no one goes there to rest?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Why do we have hot water heaters when hot water doesn't need to be heated? Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?

Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them? Why do we put shirts in a suitcase, and put suits in a garment bag? Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved? Why do we say something is out of whack?

Were you alone? Why are we so predictable? Can you think of a way, within six steps or less, to connect yourself to Kevin Bacon? What about Francis Bacon? Canadian Bacon? Why is it called a navel?

Does the shape of your navel have anything to do with your sea worthiness? Do you believe honesty is the best policy? If so, is it wrong to fake your emotions in bed? Can men fake it? Should they? Would the world be a better place if skipping were more common than walking? Does it stupidity. Space itself is said to be bounded by its own curvature, but stupidity continues beyond infinity.

If your house was on fire and you could only grab one thing to take with you, what would it be? Hint for men: What vegetable do you most resemble? What about your friends? Could you Are you more likely perform an emergency to be the tracheotomy? If you were infected by a deadly biochemical and the only way to survive was to take one of those huge cardiac needles and plunge it through your sternum right into your heart, would you be able to save yourself?

What would your name be if you were a goodfella? Can you name two What part of your body do you wish were bigger? A different color?

Describe their passionate encounter in vivid detail. Can you name two people who you think are the perfect couple? Which celebrity would you most like to have squeeze your butt? Which cartoon character do you most resemble?

Which cartoon ability would you rather have—the ability to paint a hole in the ground or a door in a solid wall and go through it, the ability to be run over by a steamroller and shake your How they died will a cliff to your doom affect how they look as a ghost. If a store overcharges you for an item, is it wrong to shoplift something of equivalent value?

What about downloading a dress or piece of jewelry, wearing it to an event, and then returning it?

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Who would you rather date, Betty or Veronica? Archie or Reggie? Wonder Woman or Batgirl? Spiderman or Batman? Ginger or Maryann? Gilligan or the Professor? Who would you rather sleep with?

Which celebrity do you think you have the most realistic chance of having a meaningful relationship with, and why? Is life more like a game of Life, Sorry, or Monopoly? Is business more like Risk or Battleship? If you could have a one-night stand with any one of five celebrities assuming they were willing , which five would you choose?

The ment? Key factors: Would you accept the gift of always being able to have great sex if it meant that you would also always have a big goofy grin on your face?

If you could give your partner extreme pleasure in bed simply by sneezing would you do it, or would that be considered cheating? Who would you kill? Do you has any long-term accept? What about the artistic talent of Jackson survival value. Who would you most like to be stuck in an elevator with?

Front clasp or rear clasp bras? Boxers or briefs? Dogs or Cats? Miles or Coltrane? Trix or Cheerios? What breakfast cereal most describes your personality?

What era do you think you belong in i. Would you prefer your mate to be stupid and beautiful or intelligent and ugly? What about stupid, beautiful, and poor or intelligent, ugly, and rich? If you were in prison for five years, how would you pass the time? Who in your group of What about twenty friends would you least like to years? Most like? What about your family?

What famous person do you think you most resemble? What famous person do other people tell you you most resemble? What if they had food on their chin? If you could change your name, what would you pick? Who would you most like to have a dream about tonight?

What would you dream? If you were an animal, what kind would you be? A tree? A flower? A car? Would you rather go a week without bathing, but being able to change your clothes, or a week without a change of clothes, but be able to bathe? If all your underwear were dirty, would you go without or wear a dirty pair? You are down to your last-last-last pair of underwear just before you do laundry—what does this pair look like?

Is it more time efficient to put on both socks and then both shoes, or one sock, one shoe and then the other sock, the other shoe? What mail-order catalog would you be most likely to model for? What do you think you will be doing at this exact moment twenty years from now? If your life story were made into a movie, who would play you? Who would play your par Who do you ents? Your best friend? Who would be the best talk show guest? If your life were made into a tele- vision show, would it be a soap opera, a drama, a sitcom?

What would it be called? Would you rather be a high-school cheerleader or a professional cheerleader? What musical group would you most likely be a member of?

If the Carnegie Deli named a sandwich in your honor, what would it be? If you were given a nickname, what would it be? If you were a doughnut, what kind would you be? What TV character are you most like? Could God create a rock so heavy that he himself could not lift it? Remember, He is all-powerful. If you ate your own foot, would you lose weight?

If your spouse killed someone, would you turn him or her in? What about your best friend? Issue to consider: How would you escape from a Turkish prison if wrongfully convicted?

Why do men have nipples? Doolittle Eddy Murphy? What would the world be like if men were the ones that had to wear high heels and tight skirts?

Do you believe the expiration dates on food you download? What sort of margin of error do you work within? Do you think cows are mad that we take their milk? How would you feel if a cow took your milk? The only sensible approach would be to read a bit of the book itself. Unfortunately, many festivals in Europe discourage reading.

At most the person presenting you will read out a paragraph or two. As he does so you sit there bewildered that he should choose this of all paragraphs, amazed that he could get the tone of the work so wrong. The whole business was all so much more elusive and complicated. Most of the people who attend these events are regular readers. And of course they have come to events before. They are not fools. They have long since understood that almost nothing of interest can really be said about books at an event.

They know that a novel is too sprawling and too complicated and the meshing of minds that occurs when novelist and reader meet on the page too intimate and elusive a process really to be tackled in forty public minutes with iffy microphones and occasional entries and departures. So what did they come here for? Enjoying books, reading frequently, the experience leaves them curious perhaps.

They want to understand why books make such a deep impression on them.

The little book of stupid questions

Something has come across to them that is not to be isolated in anything said on the page. In short, there is a mystery they would like to understand and that mystery is you.

Or they construe it as you. They feel if they knew more about you, about writers in general, it might put their minds to rest as to the experience of reading. For your part you know perfectly well that there is an absolute continuity between this book and your life. You will talk about the book as if you were in control of its creation, and perhaps you are to a degree, but behind and before that is a vast hinterland of experience and events over which you had no control.Who do you ents?

Sing your new alphabet song. If you were a doughnut, what kind would you be? Is an oxymoron a really dumb bovine? What do batteries run on?

Think of this book as a new beginning. If you were to be eaten by a giant insect, which one would you rather be eaten by?

Why is clear considered a color?

MONA from Manchester
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